| Carmen 37 (in English by Catullus Forum Users) | 
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O salacious tavern and you comrades, 
at the ninth pillar from the felt-capped brothers, 
you think that you alone have penises, 
that you alone are permitted to have sex with 
however many girls there are and think the rest he-goats? 
Or, because 100 (or 200?) of you stupids sit in a line, 
you think that I would not dare to force you 200 sitters together 
to perform oral sex on me? 
But now think: I will draw dicks all over the front of your tavern. 
For that girl, who fled from my lap, 
who I loved as much as no one will love a girl, 
on behalf of whom many battles were fought, 
sits there. All the good and rich men are making love to this girl, 
and, indeed, rather unsuitably, all you puny alley-way adulterers; 
you love one beyond all, one of the hairy ones. 
son of the cave-dwelling Celtiberians, 
Egnatius, whose good is marked by a shady beard, 
and who scours his teeth with Iberian piss. 
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