Oh what a funny thing, Cato, and a jest,
and worthy of your laughter and ears!
Laugh as much as you love Catullus, Cato:
the thing is funny and very much a joke.
I just caught a little boy thrusting away
into a girl; I banged him, if it please Dione,
with my boner like a spear.

O rem ridiculam, Cato, et iocosam,
dignamque auribus et tuo cachinno!
ride quidquid amas, Cato, Catullum:
res est ridicula et nimis iocosa.
deprendi modo pupulum puellae
trusantem; hunc ego, si placet Dionae,
protelo rigida mea cecidi.