Furi, cui neque servus est neque arca
nec cimex neque araneus neque ignis,
verum est et pater et noverca, quorum
dentes vel silicem comesse possunt,
est pulcre tibi cum tuo parente
et cum coniuge lignea parentis.
Nec mirum: bene nam valetis omnes,
pulcre concoquitis, nihil timetis,
non incendia, non graves ruinas,
non facta impia, non dolos veneni,
non casus alios periculorum.
Atque corpora sicciora cornu
aut siquid magis aridum est habetis
sole et frigore et esuritione.
Quare non tibi sit bene ac beate?
A te sudor abest, abest saliva,
mucusque et mala pituita nasi.
Hanc ad munditiem adde mundiorem,
quod culus tibi purior salillo est,
nec toto decies cacas in anno;
atque id durius est faba et lapillis.
Quod tu si manibus teras fricesque,
non umquam digitum inquinare posses
haec tu commoda tam beata, Furi,
noli spernere nec putare parui,
et sestertia quae soles precari
centum desine: nam sat es beatus.

Furius, you who have neither a servant nor a moneychest,
neither a bedbug nor a spider-web nor a fire,
but have a father and step-mother,
whose teeth even are able to eat hard rock:
things are sweet to you, with your father,
and with the tough wife of your father.
Do not be amazed: for you are all well,
you digest well, you fear nothing -
not fires, not severe ruin,
not wicked deeds, not plots of poison,
nor other dangerous accidents.
And you have bodies drier than horn,
or whatever is drier than horn;
and they are accustomed to both cold and hunger.
Why then is everything not well and blessed for you?
Sweat also is absent from you, and saliva,
and mucus and other bad nasal emissions.
To this cleanliness add more cleanliness,
because you have an anus more pure than a saltcellar,
nor in the entire year do you defecate ten times,
and even then it is more solid than a bean or pebble -
if you rubbed it with your hands,
you wouldn't even be able to make your hands dirty.
These advantages are so beautiful, Furius,
don't spurn them or think them worthless,
and stop begging the hundred sesterces as you are accustomed to:
for you are blessed enough.