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Main  ::  Translations - all  ::  Carmen 35  ::  Poem 35 translated as exactly into English as humanely possible (Carmen 35)

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Selina Ravenav
Posted on Mon Nov 01, 2004 23:20:30  
Papyrus, I wish that you woudl say to Caecilius
my friend, tender poet, that he come to Verona
Leaving city walls of New Como and Larian Shores
For Certainly I wish that he would
receive the thoughts of his friend and of me
Wherefore, if he would be wise, he will eat the road
although darling girl would call him back
as he is going 1000 times, and she begs him to delay throwing both hands on his neck.
Who now, if the truth is announced to me,
she is hopelessly in love with violent passion.
for eversince she read the unfinished
mistress of Mt. Dindymus, fires eat the inner marrow of the little girl.
I forgive you girl, more learned than the Sapphic muse ; for Great Mother is charmingly unfinished by Caecilius.

Some lines do get mixed up but that's how it is.
Posted at Fri Dec 10, 2004 22:25:10  Quote
Lines mixed up, OH NO!!!!
You have to draw the line somewhere, otherwise the purists will tell you to leave the verb on the end of the sentence! I often prefer to keep his word order, because reading it is like solving a puzzle, as bits fall into place.
Here's my own chicken scratchings....

Papyrus, kindly tell my companion,
The love poet Caecilius,
Come to Verona. Leave New Comus’
Walls and the Larian shore:
For I want him to hear some certain thoughts
Of a friend of his and mine.
About which, if he is wise, he will consume the road
Although called back one thousand times by a
Dazzling girl, who throwing both hands around
His neck begs him to remain.
Who is now, if the reports are correct,
In a desperately uncontrolled love:
For since she read the unfinished
‘Mistress of Dindymus’, the poor wretch’s
Inmost marrow has been consumed by passion.
I forgive you, girl more learned than
The Sapphic muse, for Caecilius’
‘Great Mother’ is charmingly unfinished.
Non cogito ergo non sumus.
Posted at Sun Dec 12, 2004 23:11:18  Quote
Fantastic translation, K.C., but simply for the purpose of being off topic, I have to mention that in your signature, you change from singular to plural in your verbs. Is this purposeful (I don't know if that's really a word)?
Posted at Wed Feb 23, 2005 03:30:21  Quote
I prefer the first translation.

I mean, sure, the second one is a bit more modern way to look at it, but especially towards the end, "Caecilio" is the dative, not the genitive, so "by Caecilius" is a better way to translate than "Caecilius'" Also, you translate "accipiat" as "hear". However, in the first translation, Salena Ravenav correctly translates it as "accept". Sure, hear makes more sense, but as a self-proclaimed "purist", I would expect you, KC, to keep what he wrote, and not what makes more sense.

Just my humble opinions.
Posted at Tue Nov 01, 2005 19:56:46  Quote
The first translation is much more true to Latin, although it isn't as true to word order. KC, you must realize that Latin word order, thought process, and speech order is very much different than ours. Although it does seem as though you are the more "pure" translator, the first translation actually keeps a more exact reference to the original text. The datives and genetives are clearly defined, ablatives of means and reason are organized cleanly, and subjects and verbs are in complete agreement. Although exact line organization isn't kept, the true puzzle is in finding exactly what part goes with which other part. I feel that in attempting to keep lines strictly together creates a muddled translation. Rather, a translation that keeps thoughts and phrases together but may cross a couple lines ends up being more coherent, more exact to the Latin text, and easier to understand. My .02
semper ubi sub ubi
Posted at Sun Oct 19, 2008 20:47:54  Quote
speaking of signatures, I like brendan's

I felt like such a nerd when I got that
Posted at Mon Feb 05, 2018 20:44:36  Quote
Diga,ó papiro, a Célio amigo e hilário
Poeta que de Lário deixe a praia
Na cidade de Como e saia e venha
Até Verona: tenha de um amigo
Reflexões que comigo lhe exporei.
Mas ei! se pensar bem virá correndo,
Ainda que estendendo os braços nele
A namorada o apele ignorante,
Pois se o informante a mim bem anuncia
Ela o judia de impotente amor;
Depois de pôr os olhos no poema
Cujo tema é Cibele, devorou-lhe
O interior do osso fogo ardente
Perdôo humildemente a ti, garota,
Mais douta do que Safo, não há problema,
Pois de Célio o poema a deusa é belo!


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